Staying Connected in 2020: Why I’ve Made Family Dinners a Tradition

When I was young, I remember family dinners vividly. All of our family gatherings were structured around food. My mom would invite her friends over, light up charcoal grills, and sit around the table rolling grape leaves, building a Syrian feast from scratch. Falafel, hummus, baked pasta, stuffed grape leaves, tabouli, kabobs. Putting love and life into each ingredient while she laughed and smoked cigarettes, always making more than enough for all the families.

These experiences are what instilled in me a reverence for the process of food preparation and enjoyment of a good home cooked meal. These memories have stayed with me for a lifetime, and perhaps you can relate.

Whether or not you enjoyed a Syrian feast or microwave dinners, there’s something really special about ending the day around a big table eating dinner as a family.

But the sad truth is, regardless of how much you might love the idea of family meals, the reality of trying to schedule around homework, sports, social life, and the remnant ingredients in your fridge is reason enough to feel discouraged and give up before you even get started.

For better or for worse, quarantine took routine and flipped it on its head. And while this is nothing to celebrate on its own, it has made having family dinners so much more possible, and (dare I say) more important than ever.

In this blog, I’ll talk about why I believe family dinners are so important. I hope you’ll follow along and feel inspired to make family dinners a tradition that keeps your family connected during quarantine (and beyond).

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I can still remember the commotion. The chatter around an open grill, the bellowing laughter, the sound of knives thumping on our worn wooden cutting boards. The sound of tiny feet stampeding through the kitchen. And when I really focus, I can still hear the voices of my siblings and me whining for Taco Bell and McDonalds. We were truly pathetic. It was so messed up on so many levels. But the memory still makes me smile as I realize that even our lack of gratitude couldn’t keep my mom from giving us a labor-intensive, beautiful meal, and memories I will cherish for a lifetime. 

I remember the good, the bad, and the ugly every time life gets in the way and family dinners get pushed aside. Thankfully, quarantine has reestablished this value in my home. In the last 3 months, we’ve eaten together a lot more. Family dinners have become an intentional experience; we make things from scratch, explore cuisines, bust out cookware that’s been collecting dust (like our beloved wok). We’ve even made a weekly tradition of Sunday Night Homemade Pizza. 

Even when I’m met with resistance, I know that I’m giving my kids lasting memories that they’ll look back on fondly.

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With social media, Netflix on demand, and a billion unnamed distractions at your fingertips, the art of conversation is easily set to the wayside. But in the wake of a global pandemic and this powerful resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement, having real conversations with your loved ones is more important than ever. 

Life is hard right now, people feel alone, confused, and discouraged. It’s so important to me to not let what’s happening in the world carve space in my home. Family dinners have helped my family reflect, grieve, and connect on a deeper level. This kind of openness doesn’t just happen, it takes a concerted effort to hold space for one another and build family conversations into your daily routine.  The tradition of family dinners has paved the way for conversation, and has allowed me to be there for my kids as they process the weight of the world and all the messages they’re hearing. 

If you’re struggling to know how to get tough dinnertime conversations started, here are a few tips:

Be Present

I have teenagers so I’m no stranger to cell phones around the table. During family dinners, I have a rule that phones can be nearby, but they have to be put on silent. It’s polite, it’s realistic, and it works for us. 23 hours of the day can be spent communicating with other people, I don’t think it’s too much to ask to set aside 1 hour to chat with the family.

Create a Safe Space

Make it known that you value honesty above all else, and you are all there to learn from one another. Make it clear they can feel something today and another thing tomorrow and that’s ok. What’s most important is that they’re staying humble and learning. 

Don’t be afraid to dive into tough topics. Here are a few prompts to help you talk about racism and COVID-19:

• “What do you think about what’s happening with the Black Lives Matter movement?” 

• “You weren’t able to end the school year with your friends - Let’s talk about it. I can imagine that’s disappointing.”

• “Is there anything you’re confused or scared about?”

• “Why do you think other people feel that way?” 

• “Help me understand why you feel that way”

• “What’s something new you’ve learned this week?”

• “What’s something you’re sad about right now?” 

• “What’s something you’re grateful for right now?”

Some other great ways to prompt conversations about race are to:

• Watch a movie together with black leads and talk about it over dinner. 

Buy age-appropriate books by black authors for each kid and ask them to take turns telling the family about their book over dinner. (Note: Buy from black owned bookstores - here’s a short list.)

Make an Action Plan

It’s easy to feel helpless or confused during this time. I’ve seen a lot of posts akin to, “you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t, so what’s the point?” but I don’t believe giving up is the answer. There’s always something you can do to be the change you wish to see. Encourage your family to get out from behind their computer screens and come up with ways to take action.

Ask open ended questions like:

• “What is one action we can take this week to help the people who need us most?”

• “What would make you feel excited about this summer, even though we’re in quarantine?”

I’m no family psychologist, but I do believe the best way to stay connected and foster a learning environment in your home is to keep the line of communication open and encourage potentially uncomfortable conversations.

“Tough conversations are always made a little better if you can have them over a beautiful dinner, I stand by that.”

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Perhaps my favorite part of family dinners is the collaborative effort that goes into making dinner. Don’t get me wrong, some days I’m entirely on my own, but even then, I have one rule that makes even those nights a collaborative effort:

The chef never cleans up.

Let’s be real, cleaning a fork is a small price to pay for a mind-blowing, mouth-watering, 3 michelin star, once-in-a-lifetime meal ( ...if I do say so myself 🙂)

I have a lot of fun making family dinners into a true event. Meals were such a rich experience for me growing up, that I want my kids to have a similar connection to food. Before I start cooking, I’ll bounce a few ideas around and give them a chance to weigh in. Oftentimes, I’ll have something in mind based on what I found at the store, or I’ll make a game out of building a meal out of random things in my fridge when they complain that we’re out of food. 

Voila! TACO PASTA! Eat your heart out, kid!

When the table is set and the food is out on the table in all its glory, I take a little time to explain the dish as I would if I were a chef in a fancy restaurant. Describing the steps and all the attention that went into making the meal helps them feel connected to it. Finally, I remind them to ‘eat with your eyes, your mind, then your mouth’, and the rest is history. 

I’m proud to say my kids really appreciate food, and I’d like to think my pre-meal ritual has a little something to do with it. 

Oh and before you jump to conclusions, we do order takeout sometimes (I’m only human, after all) and that’s always a collaborative effort, for better or worse… (Okay, who am I kidding - it’s the actual worst - no one can EVER agree).

All this to say, family dinner is my JAM. It’s one simple ritual that’s kept us connected and communicating throughout the craziest year of our lives. As much as I’m a die-hard believer in family dinners, there are other ways to weave family time into your daily life. If you’ve made it this far and you’re not convinced family dinners are for you, maybe family game nights or weekly family hikes are more your speed. 

Whatever works for you, pair it with good food and good conversation and you have my full support.

5 Ways Small Business Owners Can Grow During a Pandemic

Whether you’re the owner of a french-inspired cafe or hometown diner, or the founder of an upscale boutique or custom paper shop, COVID-19  has affected each and every one of us. As an entrepreneur myself who works primarily with small businesses, I realize the life-altering impact of shuttering your doors. Even as some states are beginning to reopen, we are still so far from  ‘business as usual’.

While income and revenue are a huge consideration, there’s also the discomfort of just not knowing what you can do during this time to move your business and your life forward; the feeling of having lost momentum.

Now, before I get started, I want to make it clear: This is not another ‘silver linings’ blog. I am not here to guilt you into being more productive (I swear, those memes drive me to day drink). If you’re currently wearing your son’s PJs, putting lipstick on your dog, and binge-watching Tiger King, you will get NO judgment from me. This blog is simply a resource for those of you who are ready to focus on what you can control during this time. 

Let’s dive in! Read on for 5 ways you can grow your business (and yourself) during COVID-19. 

ASSESS YOUR BRAND + BUSINESS PLAN

Perhaps what I admire most about small business owners is their incessant hustle. Do you remember what it was like to get your business off the ground the first time? You started with a dream and marinated in all its possibilities. Then, you considered the current economy and thought deeply about how you could (and would) fill the void. You figured out what would make you different, memorable, and set you apart. You started with an idea, and carved it into something real and tangible. 

You did it once, now it’s time to do it again. 

Start by thinking about your brand - What do you offer that makes you memorable? Then, consider those as you brainstorm quarantine-friendly, on-brand ways to pivot.  

• Are you quirky? Host a bidding war for the naming privileges of items on your quarantine takeout menu. “For $100 we’ll name the sloppy joe after your ex - boyfriend.” Or give away a free roll of toilet paper with every order, the options are limitless! 

• Are you philanthropic? Donate a meal for every meal purchased to the local hospital or offer a discount for people in the industry that have been affected.  

• Are you upscale? Offer cocktail kits from your bar or limited batches of your iconic dessert for pick-up; or, be a trailblazer and launch a new genre of high-end takeout.

• Are you casual? Compile quaint, pre-made picnic baskets for a fun, day date option.

Don’t be afraid to think waaay outside the box. These are unprecedented times and anything goes. 

Are you having trouble coming up with ideas? Do your research about what others are doing in your industry. Reach out to local businesses that are doing well and ask them for advice or brainstorm ways to partner with them. It might sound counter-intuitive, but now is the time to set aside competitive egos to help one another out. 

The success of one small business raises the industry as a whole.

CONNECT WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS

Just because your open sign is turned off, or you’re open for fewer hours, it doesn’t mean you can’t still be with your customers. 

Many restaurants have started hosting virtual happy hours, encouraging attendees to ‘tip their bartender’ on PayPal or Venmo. Others have streamed virtual cooking or bartending classes, allowing chefs and bartenders to use the vacant restaurant as a studio. 

If you own a retail business like a clothing boutique, ask your employees to do Instagram LIVE takeovers. Take this time to create your style-guides for summer, or host a virtual meetup and interview a wardrobe stylist. 

Finding creative ways to help your employees and connect with your customers right now is imperative to the long-term success of your business. The more visible you can be during this time, the better. 

A few additional tips:

• Be transparent about cleaning procedures. It’s all about building trust. Your customers are concerned for their safety - Tell them about everything you’re doing to keep them safe. 

• Remind them what you offer. Do you have a special takeout menu? Meal kits to-go? Are you selling groceries now too? Encourage customers to order from your menu, snag their enchilada meal kit before inventory runs out, or buy their milk, eggs, avocados, and toilet paper (always toilet paper) from you. Announce what you offer clearly and often. 

• Tell them how they can support you. Your local patrons want to support you during this time. It’s up to you to tell them exactly how to do that. 

• Get creative when beginning to open your business back up. Beginning to open your doors doesn’t have to look like it did before COVID-19. You may be dealing with the challenge of having fewer employees or may simply be uncomfortable opening your doors all the way just yet. If you’re a restaurant, consider offering reservation-only dining so you can limit capacity to ensure careful distancing and extensive cleaning procedures. If you’re a boutique, consider offering appointment-only shopping experiences - make them special by offering a fun beverage and/or personal styling assistance. 

As you go through all your online platforms, pay close attention to your images.

CREATE (AND AUDIT) CONTENT

This is a great time to think deeply about your content; I recommend starting with a content audit. Comb through your online presence and make a list of anything that has slipped between the cracks. 

Take note:

• From your website to social media to yelp page, etc. -  Is your brand consistent? 

• Is your website modern and up-to-date or does it need a refresh?

• Have you made an online store for your merch?

• When was the last time you sent out a newsletter?

• When was the last time you posted a blog?

• When was the last time you posted on social media?

Take stock of your online brand and think about any gaps in content or areas that need to be polished up. The great news is that many of these tasks require nothing more than a little time and elbow grease (if you’re reading this, my guess is, you have both).

As you go through all your online platforms, pay close attention to your images. The impact of professional on-brand images is huge. Your photos either support your branding or distract from it entirely. 

Here are some considerations:

• Are the images on-brand? 

• Are the mood, color palette, and style consistent?

• Are the images unique and interesting?

• Do the images tell a story?

If you have stock images on your website or are still using an iPhone 4 to take social media images, I highly recommend taking this opportunity to clean up your content; whether that means spending dedicated time archiving photos that aren’t on brand, snapping fresh content, or (even better) hiring a professional to develop a library of on-brand images that will make your social media and website come alive.

If you are interested in working with a professional photographer, contact me to learn more about my social-distancing-approved options!  

SET DAILY GOALS

To be clear, this is not about productivity. This is about digging deep and recognizing that you have a say in how this goes. It’s about deciding where you want to focus your energy to get exactly what you want out of this time. 

Some of you are fired up to rewrite your business plan, bake a hundred loaves of bread, and learn a new language. But for many of you, learning to slow down, take a nap in the middle of the day, and not be productive is the personal ‘win’ you really need. 

The important part isn’t to ‘be productive’, it's to set achievable goals every day that will help keep you stay grounded and grow in the ways you need the most.

STAY CALM & TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Isolation, interruption to routine, and lack of daily structure can really affect your mental health. If you’ve suddenly found yourself without a job, it’s so important that you stay vigilant to defend against the physical and psychological toll that this can take on your health. 

While I’ve given you a number of ways to grow yourself and your business during this time, I want to remind you to keep everything in perspective and remember that your number one goal right now is to stay healthy. 

Get plenty of rest, eat healthy food, drink water, take your vitamins. Block out time for a virtual yoga class or a long walk in the sunshine, start a journal, reach out to family or friends often, and especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling and know that you are doing everything right.

The best way to keep your immunity high is to keep calm and take care of yourself; body, mind, and spirit.

So there you have it, my 5 tips for growing during a pandemic. Clearly, this list is not exhaustive; in fact, one of the most incredible lessons in this is realizing that nothing is promised and everything is possible. My hope for you is that you’ll take this time to think deeply about your business and make the choice to take an active role in how this plays out. 

Above all else, I hope that you’ll be patient and compassionate with yourself, lift up small business owners in your community, and stay open to any new opportunities that may arise during this strange time. 

Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing helpful resources (like this one) for restaurant owners, small business owners, and foodies of all flavors! Upcoming topics include a free mood board and branding ebook you won’t want to miss. If you haven’t yet, sign up for my newsletter to get all of it sent straight to your inbox.